Bullies

This isn't just some post about how we need to be nice to bullies or ignore them or anything grown-up like that. Because if you're in public shool these days, you know what I mean. They won't just stop if you ignore them, they'll make fun of you for ignoring them. If you're nice them, they'll take advantage of it. So here are some nice comebacks for almost every situation!

Fat Comebacks

You can't fix stupid, but I can diet.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did?

You have a good weapon against muggers -- your face!

Excuse me, but I believe you've mistaken me for someone who cares.

Well at least I'm not brainless.


Ugly Comebacks

God made me pretty, but what happened to you?

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Where'd you get your haircut? The pet shop?

I never forget a face. But in your case I'll make and exception.

What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed.


General Comebacks

You're a loser. I'm a goddess. Any questions?

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial's on TV.

I'll probably never forget the day we met, but I'll keep trying.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?


Dumbness Comebacks

If your brain was chocolate, it wouldn't fill up an M&M.

Your neighbors just called. They said the street was missing its idiot.

If you're in your right mind, I hope you go insane.

Your brain must feel really new, seeing as you never use it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive!

I heard you were born on April 2nd. A day too late.


Hope you liked these comebacks! Please post any other ones (clean, please) in the comments section. Happy insulting!